I am really growing up

oh well, time passes fast. here I am, after my spm basically doing nothing at home.

Seeing my friends off to college and knowing what they want makes me anxious. Till now I have no idea what I want. ''Choose something you like and passionate about!'' Recently I kept doing research to find about my future course and career.

I typed ''how do I know what course is suitable for me'' or something like that. A fellow that had the same question on his or her mind wrote that and someone commented. Saying that is funny to ask Other people what is suitable for ourselves. ''NO one knows better than yourself.'' By then, I knew no one can tell me exactly what I wanted. When am I going to get the answers?? February now and the spm results will be out in March. I don't even know I will be able to collect the results myself a not due to a vacation trip.

Really hate the feeling of being lost. I admire those that have a dream since young and always planning what's best for their future. I am quite aimless now. This is the most important decision of my life yet I can spend time online and doing nothing. No wonder I am such a failure. Many websites offered career tests to give people like me guidance but after doing the tests, they want us to make payment.

Last night, my mum told me that I can only hang around not deciding on anything for another month. Well, not like I don't want to decide. Just that I can't Decide! by the way I don't want to simply make a decision too. Luckily I know clearly what I dislike, cutting down the other possibilities. Just considering the courses offered in business field is causing me migraine.

Even my sister is worrying for me. I always take things too lightly making it difficult for myself to decide now. During my high school life, I wasn't into my studies. Knowing the fact that the first term and the second term examinations will not affect my following year's class placing. I couldn't be bothered. Now I can feel it. Humans are funny. Don't you think so? They will only regret once they lost something and could n't get back in time. Sadly I am one of them.

A few days before my Spm ends, I thought I wouldn't be lazy anymore but ended up I wasted another precious month. Is there any medicine that can cure my illness? Here I am lost in the middle of the sea....