Wednesday, January 11, 2012

如果你有听说

像那首歌里的歌词正是我想和你说的。

想起以前我们一起打打闹闹的日子,真的非常怀念。你喜欢酸我和我斗嘴。我记得有一次,我问你我有什么地方需要改进,你就跟我说:‘你很好很完美。没什么问题。因为我喜欢你,所以看不出你的不好’。当时的我不知所措,心有温温的感觉。

人家说失去后才知道自己是不是错。我有点同意这个说法。无可否认,你真的对我很好,好到我都不知道如何回你。我一直很自卑,觉得自己不好不值得。也因种种元素,想了又想,觉的我们没什么可能性,所以放弃了这段缘分。

不知道你知不知道,我真的记得我们一起的点点滴滴,也重没忘记过。只是那时,我摆出一副不理不睬的样子让你很伤心。是我的错。请原谅我。

我真的想和你说清楚,可是真的很难找对的时候很你好好的聊一聊。可能现在我的答案对你而言已经不重要,但我觉得我该好好和你说清楚。你好像过得不错,我很怕和你讲后,会造成你的困扰。

天啊~~~~下一步该如何是好呢??

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Happy and Sad

Wanting to write a post since I'm having sem break now.

Today! I'm really happy. Results out and I got 3.7778 average CGPA of 3.72! I'm proud of myself for actually doing real fine. no more the last minute pc that used to be freaking stressed up due to the last minute revision. Well, I still have headaches on and off due to high expectations of my results. Really stressful at times.

In the evening, I was planning to take an hour nap to rest my brain. After seeing a friend of mine updating his status saying results' out! I ran downstairs in the speed of light! shivering while the computer was turning on, I was actually really scared to see the figures. Cause I did studied for my exams, didnt try super duper hard but I definitely changed a lot as compared to last time. No more the excuses saying 'I worked and I studied but still can't achieve what I want'. I just realised a thing, I wasn't even working hard enough last time. Not even a bit! There I go, I'm glad I am on the right path now.

Back to the story, the moment I logged in the website and saw 3.7778! I was really really happy. Although initially i was hoping at least a 3.8 since I'm aiming for a scholarship, but we can't be too greedy. Didn't manage to get 3.8 but a 3.7778 is close enough. Enough to make me smile in front of the screen almost half the day like an idiot!

Not to forget, grats to my friend that got 4.0! I'm really happy for you! You are the man! :D I wonder whether will I able to get 4.0 next time but I will work for it. Doing some sort of calculations just now, to get at least 50% scholarship, I have to get at least a 3.88 next sem!! *I can do this. I can do this!*

Although I have been telling people that I will treat them a meal, asking them to pray hard for me to make this happens. However, there is one thing that I really sad about. A few of my friends didn't make it and they are deciding to enroll another college or university. 

To the guy, you thanked me for being your best friend for 6 months. what do you mean?? Do you know how hurt am I when I heard that. Firstly, our friendship doesn't just last for 6 months. When you said you cried, people think that you are joking but I know it is true. I don't know what can I do to make you feel better but our bet on our results. If only we started betting earlier so you have more time to beat my results. sigh.

To the girl, the problem with you is the same. I know you have been trying to solve those questions a week before but through my experience, achieving a good results with that is just not enough, my friend. You asked me to check the results for you cause you didn't dare to see for yourself. Right after checking mine, I went to see yours. Seeing the row of Fs, I didn't know how to tell you. You said you aren't coming back here to study sem 3 anymore and will pursue your study in Penang, my heart really ache for that moment.

Utar stressful? I don't really think so. There is not a college or university that has no stress. So the root of the problem is the way you think. Anyhow wish you the best of luck in your future. Hope you will do well.

Happy and Sad. This is how I ended my Tuesday.