T T

Now that I wrote about it, I'm sad...

Immature You

This started from yesterday's buffet dinner. Didnt go because I was in Sabrina's house.
My dad and mother were charged at the senior citizen rate for the buffet. My brother started laughing. When he came home, told my sis that if I go, I would get the senior citizen rate too. Oh hello, I know I looked old but not till senior citizen. - -

Truthfully I really couldn't by your words and actions at times. I used to be freakingggggggggggg hurt and sad over what you said about me. Now that I learnt not to care anymore...

I used to not being the center of attraction. Yes, I know Im not adorable, not pretty and grumpy. Sometimes I do feel quite sad that no one really bother much when I was young back then, now that I realised Im unique in my own way and I dont have to please anyone. You can say whatever you want.

So you think is funny saying that I look old?
Yeah I know I dont dress up and I dont care about my appearance much.
I dont look like the age Im suppose to.

Even relatives, outsiders or friends will think that Im way more mature than the age Im suppose to be. Im like okayy, whichever I dont care:3

yesyes, Aunty Farah jokingly said that ' your sister looked like your mother . ' Back then, I was still in high school??

Aunty Farah, I dont know you well and you dont know me well.. I dont think you know how long he used that to tease me saying that Im old. I was really disturbed back then. As for my beloved brother, I know is funny for ya, not for me. You are really a pain for me when I was in high school. Since you were so popular in school back then, I was this ugly unknown little girl that has no achievement, I became quite quiet and dont socialize that well. I really hate it to have you around in school. Your friends will stare at me and whispering commenting about me. I really really really hated it.

I wasnt confident at myself that I dont voice out last time, I dont talk much last time. And yes, you are part of the reasons.

I dont like the way you talk and how you think you are so great about yourself. I dont know how ah foong can stand you. But of course I dont hate you cause you are always like that.

Nowadays, I hear comments like peeps saying that Im older than you... I smiled :D and you, laughing your way through.

If I want to hurt you with my words, I can do it easily. You have serious facial problems and I often hear peeps and even those innocent kids asking '' Korkor, why do you have so many holes in your face?'' I know you were sad about all those. I didnt use that to attack you despite your words to me. I know you cared alot. So what now? You think you are funny?? No, you arent.

Stop finding fault with peeps around you. I dont know which day I will explode and you better be careful. As for my case, Im used to it. Please control your mouth and dont argue with mummy. I rather you say me ugly fat and yongsui then you two quarrel for no reasons.

You need to learn how to talk nicely to your mum. Whatever she does, she is still your mum
 :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Flying Season Again

Last 2 days, I was chatting with CL. Knowing that she doesnt really wanna go UK to further study. We cant really blame her for not knowing how many people would love to fly there if they were given the chance to. Her parents didnt quite inform her about her study plans till months ago.So yeah, she was quite lost and unprepared. I dont exactly able to feel how is it like to leave somewhere you been staying since birth and leave people that you bonded throughout the years.

Her words and unwillingness to fly this September dragged me along. Our convo gotten from sad to sadder. Flying off isnt such a cool fun thing after all. You need courage to do that.

Chien flying to London Mid Sept too

JN's flying to UK for her law degree if her results are good enough ( but the thing's her results always good, looks like she will be flying too)

Trina, flying back real soon to Canada and I suppose to hang out with her more often

Sabrina, flying back to Nebraska this Aug after her Raya celebration. My cute friend that's lazy to update her beloved friends about her life. helloooooooo, you gotta update us man! we wanna know what are you doingg.

Crystal, next Feb? 

Now that I gotten used to it to see peeps flying here and there. It hurts me less? Er, I don't know. No time to emo too long, not like they won't come back :):)

Cheers. 

All sorts of friends

Someone that you know since ever?

Someone who been the same primary school as you?

Someone who went through crazy high school moments with you?

Someone who you met in tuition?

Someone that you see occasionally?

Someone who you just met?

Someone who is the same college with you?

Someone who knows you well enough although you guys don't have to say much?

Someone that resembles the one that's always on you mind?

I guess we all have all sorts of friends in different stages of life. Back in my carefree kindergarten days, I remember these bunch of friends that always come to my house to play. Played games that we will never ever play. Something that we will find it childish and lame now...At that moment of time, nothing's really that important. Anticipating to go to classes to meet friends in kindergarten and takes turns to hang around each other house.Then, we soon realised that we are growing up and I mean going up real fast. Although most of us head to the same primary school but we were separated into different classes. That's when we started meeting our new friends. Classmates that sat beside you and new bonds were then formed. Slowly, we no longer mix around with our kindergarten friends. This happens to most of us. I hate the feeling that we were once closed. Once doing things together but not anymore.

Std 4: Gotten real close to a few of them but time seems to wash away our memories together.

Std 5&6 : Our class back then, most of us were quite close. Having dancing practices together for our graduation performance.

After you got so used to your primary schoolmates and there you go, time for us to enter high school. The horrible first day of school when I was Form 1. The awful feeling of not knowing everyone in the class. I only felt better during recess to see a few familiar faces which were my primary mates back then. I always wish to be in the same class with someone for 5-6 years continuously. None of my friends was in the same class with me for more than 2 years. Thought it would be an additional bonus to my high school life if I have a friend like that. Something that I really really miss badly in my high school days were co-curriculum activities I did and people I met along the way. Back then, I was not so expressive.

Katrina, my nicest maju and Leo seniors. Always guiding me and won't make me the gap between us.

Gwee Jia, someone who cant bare to see me taking taxis back home almost everyday and volunteer to give me a ride home everyday. 

Trina, my best Leo and maju bestie! Went through all sorts of crazy stress together and always stand by each other. 

Sabrina, someone who supported me knowing that I get tensed up easily. We always stick together in class and during breaks.

Jun Ning, one sweet girl that misses scouts as much as I do.

Jian Nee, one that always call me for hours to chat on her problems.

HY :) and many many more.

After high school ended, all of them had different plans and flew to different parts of the world. I started to appreciate and wanting to keep a friendship as long as I could. Lost contacts with so many of them and it tends to be a habit of not contacting each other anymore if we don't do so from the very start.

Please take care.

Love, 

Pui Cheng

 Distance sets us further apart once we feel its existence.

A Fun Game

A day to remember! Haha can't and won't write the whole story, just wanna roughly jot down here.

It will always remain between 3 of us. I dont know how will I agree to all these in the very beginning but still...I normally wont bother doing stuffs like this. Mixed feeling while playing. Partially worried yet having lots of fun laughing out loud. Since everything's revealed and 'mystery' solved now, I'm proud to be part of this evil act. hahahaha. No big deal  :p

Sorry again to someone, hahahahhahahaha. please forgive us.

Kinda lame but worth remembering Lol

Stopping Me

I wonder the hassles kaka went through last time. Going against her parents, fighting alone for what she thinks was right that time.

Thankfully, my mum is always very supportive over the things I do no matter what it is. She loves seeing me happy and enjoyed over the things I did. I appreciate the freedom my mum gave me and hopefully I didnt abuse it. On the other side, my dad doesnt really say much. But, I know he disliked the whole idea of it when I was chasing stars.

Getting the support from my dad and mum to do the things I like is precious. Knowing that my mum gives me the permission to run free gives me the sense of responsibility not to do anything stupid or things that will disappoint them. I am always very proud to tell the others that my parents are on my side.

Nowadays, I travel around alot. It all started from some random sem break trips to Taiwan to never ending list. 

My brain is constantly...

' Where's next?' 'When's sem break?' 'What should I do to make my sem break pack?'

Even sometimes, I myself cant believe how the heck I always able to keep myself so damn busy. Planning this and that...Anyhow I love planning and researching about a place.

There's always a thing that tries to stop us down or hold us back somewhere somehow. My brother came up to me that day. Calling me not to travel so often since I have yet to enter the work force. Spending too excessively is not the right way to be. 

His words hit me deeply as if someone was hammering my heart. He doesn't realize the pleasant I gain from trips is priceless. Not that I only know how to play, I just like the whole idea of going out exploring places with a group of friends.

Not like he's calling me to stop completely, he is just telling me not to go too often. I reacted aggressively of course :(  If mum and papa can allow me to explore the world, why can he at least support me mentally??? I really didn't like the idea of him telling me all these. I know it by heart that I should control myself  at times. But the biggest problem with him is He himself doesn't want to listen to our advice. Smart, you are real smart. Manage yourself well first then I will listen to you better next time.

And there he goes again tonight. Saying the same thing to me again... When my mum was just casually saying that I'm getting very happening these days.. My mum knows that I'm upset and started saying things like '' Vacation is good, at least something to look forward after exams and all"
Thanks mummy :') Thanks for being understanding :')

Somehow I'm emotionally affected by his words.. I shouldn't be too bothered by his words.